A Spanking Teaches Right From Wrong in our House

 

This poem brought to you by the terrific blog @MrWilliamsSwatsYou’s “Corporal Corrections.”
 
 
Please comment below or email me with your ideas.
 
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Punishment Spankings in Domestic Discipline Relationships

My Summer Vacation 

Or Why It Pays to Not Manipulate Daddy

It didn’t seem fair at the time, but now, on reflection, being Spanked for what I did on our summer vacation was fair. 

I guess. 


When I say “on reflection,” I’ve had 72 hours* to think about what I did to Daddy as I sat at work with a painfully bruised fanny painted red by the “little boy” paddle (see pic). As I edit this further**, now it’s been more than 96 hours since Saturday’s Spanking, and I still can feel four different really sore spots on my rumpus, particularly my left cheek where Daddy’s Spanking Stick came down particularly hard and frequently. What is different this time—than all the other times I’ve been punished for breaking our Rules—is I really thought much more about why Daddy Spanked this time, and what I had to do to make things better. This is the story of how a Domestic Discipline Punishment Spanking really worked to improve things between us and how it actually triggered a real action to rectify things.
Before we get started, I know a bunch of skeptics will say, “Well he’s into CP, so of course he’d say Spanking works. However, in this instance (and yes, you’d have to get all the way to the end of the story), you’ll see how there was a happy ending after all the sore bottom and tears.
Thinking about it now, I guess I really do have something useful to share and maybe even helpful for those who don’t really know what a DD relationship can be like or how it can work in real time. As Domestic Discipline Celebration Week continues today, let’s take a look at what transpired on the summer vacation that Daddy and I took together and why a severe paddling wasn’t just necessary, but how that paddling really improved things for Daddy—and me in the end.
Cornertime Confidential often gets asked for specific examples of how CP is used in a realistic way with in a real relationship. This blogpost will go into some depth about how DD can work for actual grown-ups (not actors in a video) who have chosen to use something besides arguments, apologies, and begrudgingly accepted apologies. I hope I can do this incident justice—in between the wincing and rubbing and moaning about my red bottom as I type this days after my bottom was beaten for very real reasons—because the story and its outcomes could be both really helpful for those considering a DD relationship or those who haven’t considered one, but think this life could be good for them too.
Please be patient: the story isn’t short!
*written on Monday, July 23, 2018 and **edited on Wednesday, July 25, 2018
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In the world of CP and Spanking, a lot is made of “getting a Spanking you are to remember and think about afterwards.” Spankings are used in family situations because a lot of children are just lying or “getting away with things” and no amount of discussion is going to help clear things up. A lot of boys just disrespectfully lie or cause trouble, and so they are Spanked. But in adult relationships, a lot of the same bad behaviours persist, but the consequences for trust can be broken. It’s unhelpful to be adult and be able to talk your way out of behaviour that disempowers your partner—and the consequences can be pretty damaging over time. Trust erodes, love gets compromised, and apologies are unhelpful.

One way to achieve a different result is through a Corporal Punishment-centered or Discipline-centered approach to adult misbehavior problem solving.
One way it to shame your boy into thinking about what he did.
Another way is to make the Spanking painful, so he remembers for multiple days about the Spanking and why it occurred.
And finally there’s a mix of the two. I think that Daddy kinda did both here.
Let’s get to my specific example now to give you a peek into what happened after a lot of painful crying and moaning in The Corner on Saturday resulted in a very sore fanny on Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday, and also it resulted in a much better situation with Daddy and me at home.
Things had been awkward since we got back from our trip to Canada where we went to visit friends. Daddy and I had gotten in a fight when we were out together with our hosts to see a fireworks competition over the St. Lawrence river the night before we left. Of course, the important part isn’t the fireworks in the sky; it was the fireworks between us, and then the fireworks last Saturday across my behind.
On Tuesday, I had to go to work for a second day with a really painfully sore, red bottom, and since most of my job has me seated for long hours during the work day, that meant long achey time remembering Daddy’s Spanking and why he did that. Often readers ask me are “Punishment Spankings” real and how are they used in real life—not role-play. I can say now with some clarity, they are particularly effective since afterwards us boys have to go to work or school afterwards and sit! I have had to feel the pain in my rumpus for hours on end at my desk surrounded by co-workers.

As I say, by Tuesday, I’d been thinking a lot about what I did that caused Daddy to Spank—rather than discuss—what had happened on our summer vacation. In this instance, on reflection, just like Spankings are supposed to, we saw immediate results. For all those out there who say Spankings don’t work, I beg to differ: in between every waking moment of work, I’ve been thinking about what happened and why it happened. And I’ve been thinking about how I need to write this down for posterior’s sake.

Posterity’s sake. Oh…you know what I mean.
For the first time since I got in trouble with Daddy for drunk-driving and not calling him to be picked up a while ago, Daddy decided he had to paddle my fanny for two different serious problems that arose on our trip to Canada:
1.     Irresponsible behavior while travelling and
2.     A serious breach of trust in our relationship.
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Dealing With Irresponsibility

 

Again, after getting locked out of our flat with no keys, no cellphone, and no passport, and after the trust-breaking incident happened while we were on vacation, Daddy gave me a whippin when we got back home.
A lot of you are probably asking yourselves, why didn’t Daddy Spank in the moment when it was happening?
Daddy was angry and hurt at the time while we were on vacation, but he didn’t want to address it then, because we were with our friends and when we went home at the end of the night, we were sharing the flat with a friend who doesn’t know we are a DD couple. He didn’t want her to feel awkward. Besides, then he’d have to explain DD, and frankly that wasn’t any way to spend a holiday together, especially since we wanted to sightsee, not deal with the mundane issues of our relationship.
On the weekend after we returned home and after a week of not discussing it, Daddy told me, “I need to have a conversation about what you did in Canada. I need you to finish what you are doing on the computer, change into your yellow shorts, and go to your room.”
I finished up—changed into my boy clothes—and went to my room flopping down on the bed on my tummy.
I knew he had a lot on his mind, because we’d said nothing since Canada, so I was expecting a long lecture. It did turn out that he planned to have that lecture over his knee on The Spanking Chair, apparently. However, when he walked in pointing to The Corner where the Spanking Chair is kept, he said, “Stand up and go over there and get The Chair. Bring it here,”
I didn’t do it.
 
The Spanking Chair

I knew that getting The Spanking Chair out of The Corner would mean a Spanking with no questions asked. So I said I didn’t want to. 


Then a funny thing happened. Something I’d never experienced before. He just left and walked out to the kitchen. He didn’t say a word.
I yelled from the bedroom, “I just don’t want to, can’t we talk in here instead?”
Daddy did return in a few moments with The Paddle in his hand.
I knew it was gonna be worse, because I hadn’t done as I was told with regards to The Chair, and I said, “No, no, don’t paddle me. I just want to talk about it. I’ll get The Chair. I’ll get The Chair. It’s OK.”
I started to go get The Chair that I was supposed to have placed in the middle of the bedroom in front of the bed. I guess I could have done that when he’d left the room, but I didn’t.

Daddy said, “It’s not necessary now. Put your hands on the bed. I don’t want you taking your hands off the bed.” I could feel my heart sinking, not knowing what to expect. He usually warmed my fanny with his hand first, usually over his knee, but this was going to be different.
I deliberated too long after he gave me those instructions, and he whacked my fanny really, really hard.
“Now.”
I grabbed the bed frame edge and hoped for the best. I’ve been Spanked enough by Daddy after 6 months of living together and 4 years of being in a DD relationship, that I knew I could trust him, in spite of the fact that none of this was familiar and he hadn’t done this in this way before.

 

“When we are travelling, you are not to leave the place we’re staying without your keys” He slammed the paddle down really hard across my heinie. My bare bottom felt every inch of that. But then I realized, I was fully clothed.
Without your ID,” the whack of his hand-sized paddled really, really hurt this time, and he paddled my fanny multiple time across my Spanking shorts and my underpants. With all those layers, I thought, wow, why is this hurting so badly?
Without your phone,” I thought I was going to die. I began to realize he wasn’t going to do any warm up Spanking. This would be full-on Spanking—fast and really painful—and I was simply completely unprepared for how much that would both jolt me through and through and later, during the week that followed, how long the soreness would last.  
“Do you understand me?” The paddling became really intense and freighted with meaning.
“You scared us when we came down to get you, and you were not there.” He used a particularly wide-swinging paddling motion that was virtually pushing me out of position and he Spanks harder when I do not stay in position. “And we had literally no way to find you.” I decided if I spoke this time, the harsh whacks slamming upside my upturned fanny might stop for a bit.
“But I realized you guys were busy, and you wouldn’t realize I was trapped outside the building.”
And down came that paddle again and again, “What?” Daddy hollered disappointed with that answer, as he stopped for a moment to yank my Spanking shorts and underpants down below my fanny. He must have seen an awfully red and probably freshly bruised heinie, but he decided to paddle just as hard if not harder.
“Do you think we’re stupid?” And the whacks from that mean paddle really, really hurt this time in a way that getting paddled with my shorts and ‘pants up didn’t. He had been paddling full-force when I was clothed, but when he yanked my drawers down, he paddled just as hard, if not harder.


“We knew pretty damned quick, because you were not answering any texts. And when we called the phone rang inside the flat.” Again and again, my fanny welled up with soreness, as the paddle slammed down and down again across my rumpus becoming a plump red sore space, rather than just my usual ol’ backside.
I found I couldn’t stand still—literally, it was impossible to do so without completely intentionally holding on for dear life. I was twisting and turning every which a way—which if you are a boy, you probably know isn’t a great idea. The paddle hit too high, it hit my side, it missed its target because I kept squirming out of the way. Daddy persisted.
“You are big enough to know that you are to stand outside and wait at the front door until Daddy comes to get you.” The paddling intensified beyond what I could imagine. “I am not to be coming downstairs and wandering the streets when we are on vacation trying to find you.” Daddy leaned in on this point, he pushed into my left side at this point and pressing me against the bed, he walloped my heinie for a good long time.
I was crying out and carrying on like nobody’s business. It felt like he was never going to stop Spanking my bottom. And then, just as fast as it began…
The Spanking stopped.


 

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“Get in The Corner. I don’t want to hear from you right now.”
I was so stunned, I couldn’t think. Daddy repeated himself—which is never a good idea—and I went to go stand in The Corner. Honestly, I was grateful to finally be able to breathe and think for a second about just what was happening.
Now, we have Cornertime Rules about how I am to stand there during punishment, so he waited until he saw me doing Cornertime properly. I didn’t stick my nose in The Corner, as he usually instructs, but I didn’t turn around and show him my red crying face either. He hates that and will whip me something awful if I do that, so I just stood still as I could, which was real hard given the circumstances.


I guess he decided not to make a big deal of me not having my snout pressed into The Corner, probably saw how red and damage my rumpus was, and he walked out as I shook, cried, rubbed, and moaned.

Daddy left for about 10, maybe 15 minutes.
I was quivering cuz it’s hard to just stand without leaning on the walls for that long. It’s really, really hard, no matter what anyone tells you. But I knew I’d get in really bad trouble if I did that, because I have gotten really bad lickin for doing that in the past. Cornertime is now an exercise in showing Daddy I know how to do it right—doing it the way he expects me to. If I do it wrong, Spankings can last a very, very long and painful time.
So I just stood there.
It was a weekend day like, I mentioned, so unlike a workday, and so a lot of neighbors must have been home. For those who do not know, paddling is not a quiet affair. Daddy has taken to a new thing when he Spanks, he leaves the blinds open to the back of the house—which is a shared space for everyone in the building. I was just grateful the neighbors were out, and it was not a nice day out, because not only would I be missing a great weekend day, but the neighbors would be able to both hear and possibly (if the sun goes behind the clouds) see directly into the windows where my bottom beating was taking place.
In about 15 minutes, Daddy returned with The Spanking Stick to switch my bottom. I couldn’t imagine why: hadn’t he made his point? I knew I’d never do that again.
He had already paddled me much harder than he had in a really long time, and I hadn’t been given a Maintenance Spanking anytime recently, so my fanny wasn’t ready at all.. I was in such a state of shock, but ultimately, he was doing precisely what we had agreed to back in April 2014—to address bad behaviour that gets in the way of a healthy relationship by administering Corporal Punishment. Daddy agreed all the way back then to implement CP instead of resorting to fighting over things when the things that were wrong and spoke for themselves.

Now, back home, I had already explained myself at the time in Canada. And he didn’t approve of that explanation: that I just figured they were too caught up in what they were doing (gaming in the living room while I went out and went to a money machine), to look up and realize I’d been gone too long.

·         Locking myself out in a strange city and causing my Daddy and our friend to lose an hour searching for me was not a discussion point.
·         It was not time for me to explain myself.
·         When I blamed him and our guest for basically not caring enough about what happened to me, and that I knew I’d have to call them to get their attention, well, that was reason enough to not have a sit-down discussion about the matter.
·         There was no reason to hear it all over again. It was just time to deal with it.
In most relationships, at least the ones I’ve been in, there is seemingly endless talking and apologizing about things like this. And in my past relationships incidents like this become onerous and misery-inducing. And chips on shoulders develop and complaints build up. And then apologies are grudgingly accepted, but not really meant. And problems like this happen again.  
But DD changed that: Here’s how:
CAUSE AND EFFECT
Excuses like the ones I tried on holiday did not work. Apologizing for wasting their time on vacation did not work. Paddling my bottom did.
  • Daddy used Domestic Discipline to circumvent long drawn lengthy conversations and recriminations and
  • Daddy was able to swiftly get us back on track after a lengthy talk with the paddle instead.
In the moment, did I know that? No. But writing this now*, I do.
So why was he coming back with the cane in his hand? Well, that was a different matter.
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What the Spanking Stick Means in Our Relationship: A Talk With The Spanking Stick

 

Caning is often used by people all over the world who live in CP-based relationships. It’s particularly popular with men and women in DD relationships. I have no idea why. But in our relationship the cane means something very specific: you are now going to be punished severely for something very specific.
“Get over here and stick your fanny out. Hold onto the bed and I expect to see your hands stay there.”
“Oh no, please don’t use The Stick, just tell me what you want me to do.”
What I want you to do is get your rear over here and stick it out now.”
Fidgeting and not standing still resulted in getting an immediate swish across my upper thigh just below my butt cheek. The sting sent me wailing and was so intense that I took my hands off the bed frame.
“Did I tell you to remove your hands from the bed? I did not. Get your hands back on the bed or there’ll be trouble.”
And there was trouble. And it all got worse with The Stick.

 

Frankly, I don’t know how boys get switched on a regular basis in England, Ireland, Asia generally, and Australia. It hurts so bad and wherever the tip of the cane lands, it creates this slightly hard spot for days afterwards. Over the years, Daddy has only used The Stick when I’ve been particularly bad or naughty or broken really important Rules.
For us, the cane is not a Maintenance Spanking Tool—it’s not used for misbehaving while we’re out walking and I cross against the light in front of him; or at the Zoo and I run off; or at the movies and I’m late; or the museums and I wander away. I usually only get a handSpanking—sometimes bare-bottomed—and sometimes he’ll tell me to get him The Hairbrush if I have been warned about how I’m expected to behave and I do whatever it is I’m not supposed to anyways.
The Hairbrush Is Awful But It’s Not The Spanking Stick In Our House.


 

Our friends in Vancouver (who were probably at Camp Red Tails, not in Canada when I had caused this trouble with Daddy) gave Daddy that cane on my last trip to visit them. And Daddy uses it sparingly.
But not on this Saturday. No, he decided to address what really made him angry and disappointed with The Stick, and I was being so careful at this point, I was just trying to get through what was a time-consuming experience on a Saturday morning.
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See, What Had Happened Was…

 

 

Again, I could tell the visit with The Stick wasn’t going to be a conversation, unfortunately. But I knew that I didn’t know how to address what had happened for which he was going to whip my bottom. I was hoping he’d just forgotten it. But I’d ALSO really done something in Canada that I’m now not proud of. Without going into the boring details, I basically said to Daddy that I wanted to go watch the fireworks from a high-up place—but that our friend who was travelling with us wanted to do that too but that our Canadian friends were just standing there, and we just needed them to come with us. I needed Daddy to help get everyone to come up to the high-up point on a steep staircase so we could see things better from up there. But they wouldn’t come, so…anyways, it’s not important now. But what did happen was that I used our travelling companion as leverage to get Daddy to come be with me, when the rest of the group didn’t want to. Daddy stormed up to where I was, very displeased, and I told him what I just told you.  

 

Once I saw he wasn’t willing to join me and be romantic, and instead stand there out of duress, I stormed off saying well if he was going to be mad about it then, I didn’t want to be up there with a better view anyways. I walked back to the group. He stormed down after me, and then stood there with the whole group angry for a few moments. Then he told everyone he was going home and would skip the fireworks. No one (but me) knew why he was leaving. Our travelling companion went to talk with him and explained that no, she didn’t want to do what I said she wanted to do. And that I never even discussed it with her. That was kinda true.
Anyways, Daddy knew then that I had used her to get him to do what I wanted. He agreed to stay, but it put us in an impossible situation:
(1) He/we didn’t want to have a fight in front of friends, and  
(2) We were sleeping in the same flat as her, so we couldn’t really discuss it without making her a part of it, and that seemed really unfair.
So we didn’t discuss it. Daddy was beyond angry about the situation being so impossible.
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Eventually, when we got back to the states. Instead of discussing it when we got home, Daddy got out the Spanking Stick to address this too on Saturday. My fanny was bare—my briefs and shorts were down around my thighs, and I was putting my hands back on the bedframe.
Why did you drag her into this?” The Stick was switched across my rumpus multiple times. I noticed that because we hadn’t been having regular Maintenance Spankings, the pain was rising and falling like those hammer and anvil games at the county fair. The Switch would make it’s mark, a pause of “oh that wasn’t so bad would flash through my mind, and then a heat-filled surge would escalate from my feet to the top of my brow. I would wriggle and that was unhelpful. Daddy picked up the pace of the switchin at that point. I wonder if it was so I couldn’t squirm out of position.
“Why did you think that was OK to do?” The Switch whipped across my seat this time accurately and precisely where it made it impossible to stand still and think straight. The intensity rose up in me and my back arched. I was kicking my feet on the ground, and the cane came down sharp and fast. 

“You better stop stamping your feet!” And The Stick cut into that same exact spot again and again warning me that strict obedience was required now in case the neighbors were home. And Daddy frankly doesn’t put up with stamping of feet when he’s administering a Spanking.
The Stick came down with much greater frequency and intensity than I ever recall getting when I’d been switched before. The Stick made my fanny pinpoint sore in a way that the paddle hadn’t. I noticed again and pretty quickly that he knew precisely how to use The Stick and was repeatedly whipping me in a 2-3” inch area that was ending on a point about mid-way up my left cheek. My fanny must have gotten redder and redder and then kinda black and blue from the repeated whippin and with my ‘pants down, that must have been pretty easy to see.
(I also know that it was red, because Daddy did take a “Behinder Reminder” picture when I was finally allowed to leave The Corner.)
“You lied to me, and said she wanted to come up there on that creaky stairwell just so you could watch the fireworks from up there. I didn’t want to go up there. It wasn’t safe anyway,” The Stick was coming down across my pretty well-beaten behind throughout this Talk With The Stick.
“And what? You were trying to guilt me into coming up there? You will not guilt me into doing what you want. Do you understand me?” The cane struck an awful, fiery cut that made mark after mark after mark. My fanny was weeping for help—or at the very least—a break. But none was coming as The Stick made its marks time and again. It felt like an eternity, and I didn’t think I could handle it much longer, but I didn’t know what else to do but stand there until Daddy was done.
A million things ran through my mind: Should I turn away? Should I Run? I could take my hands off the bed and run into the kitchen or bathroom. I could try to get away. I had to consider, though, that Daddy was making a point about trust and a relationship “don’t” and to run off in the middle of explaining that I’d broken his trust would have been a risky move.  Was it worth it to do something that cavalier? I love Daddy, even though he was whipping my behind. I did that in Canada to him and our friends, and I couldn’t really deny any of it. I tried to stand as still as I could—given that as any boy who has ever had his bottom Spanked with The Stick knows, it was awfully hard not to twist and squirm—because of the repeated switches of The Stick on my backside.
“And then you dragged her name into this? Why? I know why. Why?”
“I didn’t want to, but…”
“So you could get your way. That’s why.” And the cane cracked down making an awful sound as the end frayed and a splinter stuck.
“No, it’s because it was fireworks, and I wanted to be alone with you for a few minutes and watch them together.” 

“Oh I remember that excuse when we were there. We had friends with us. You could have made different plans, so we could have done that. But you didn’t. You waited until it was too late, and then you acted.” With the cane fraying, Daddy slowed a bit then finished whippin my heinie.
“Get in The Corner right now.”
Daddy was sweating a lot. He was hot to the touch.
He hates having to Spank, because in the original analysis, he’s not wired to Spank first. But this time, Daddy was much calmer and focused.
“I’m going in the shower now. You stand there.”
Daddy walked off and did some things in the hall bathroom, then came into the bedroom and turned on the master shower. I walked over to him as he was showering and started trying to explain myself.
Daddy looked at me with a look that said, “You didn’t really just leave The Corner when I told you to stand there.” But instead he stopped me explaining and said, “Remember, we agreed to use Spanking when times call for it. He kissed me, and said, “I don’t want to hear from you. I have dealt with this. It’s not going to happen again, will it?”
I said no, it wouldn’t.
I was kinda glad to be cut off in the middle of trying to re-explain myself frankly, since I didn’t really have a good explanation anyways, and talking at that point wouldn’t have helped. I was just sorry for having manipulated him openly in front of all our friends.
When Daddy got out of the shower, he called me into the kitchen, turned on the lights (which is kinda awkward in case anyone was out front looking in the windows), and told me to bend over the counter. He took out the Skin Food and rubbed it deeply into my sore and welted cheeks.
“I want you back here tomorrow when we continue this punishment. Do you understand me?”
I said I did.
CAUSE AND EFFECT
Domestic Discipline was used specifically to address a serious breach of trust, abusing Daddy’s willingness to do just about anything with me. Daddy was empowered to administer a whipping and a lengthy talk with The Stick instead to settle the matter and make it clear that trust issues are not going to be taken lightly.
Apologies for these sort of manipulative behaviours do not work. Whipping my bottom did. Here’s why:
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A Need Surfaced and A Solution Evolved
How do you know from these two stories that CP works to change bad behaviour?
How do we know it worked, you ask?  How do you the reader not just think: oh, they’re just into that, so they do CP cuz they’re into it?
Here’s how we know:
1.     I spent all of Sunday and a lot of Monday thinking about Daddy’s Spanking.
2.     My sore fanny reminded me that I’d been Spanked and all the many things Daddy said during the Spanking about being an irresponsible boy and a time waster of other people’s time.
3.     The Splinter from the cane reminded me that he had to use the A-Bomb Spanking Tool to make his point about trust.
But the real clicher that proves Spankings work in and adult DD relationship?
I’m going to Happy Hour tonight.
What?!?
That’s right, I’m going to Happy Hour.
Let me explain. On Monday, I’d thought long and hard about what Daddy had said while I was Spanked. By the time I got home from work, I hopped on Daddy’s lap while he was on the settee watching the news after work, and I said, “Daddy I need to talk to you for a moment.”

He rolled his eyes saying without saying it, “Please do not apologize for what you did.”

But I said, “Daddy just let me get it out and try not to stop me. OK?”
He leaned back with me straddling him in my white ‘pants and facing him I said, “I thought all day long today about what you said on Saturday, while I rubbed my rumpus and thought about how sore I was. And I realized hey you were not the only person affected by what I did. Our friend who travelled with us also was put in a terribly awkward position. I want to apologize to her or figure out some way of doing something that will at least address it, even if I can’t really apologize it away.
“What do you plan to do?”

“Daddy do you think I could invite her out to Happy Hour and at least apologize about affecting her trip too. Give her the chance to say anything on her mind?”
“That’s a good idea. You should. Now, let Daddy watch the news.”
I kissed Daddy and said OK, I’ll go make dinner.
The next night Daddy came home from work and when we sat down to dinner I told him how my day had gone, and I was going on a bit and he interrupted me and said, “So have you been in touch with her yet?”
I proudly said, “Yes, Daddy! I did just like you said, and we are doing Happy Hour tomorrow night!”
“I think that’s the right thing to do.”
I was impressed how Spanking is what triggered me to do this, not a reasoned conversation with apologies and accepted apologies. We had already been home for more than a week, and I’d done nothing to address the problem I’d created with her.
But after Daddy’s Spanking, a need surfaced and a solution evolved. I honestly don’t think I had the willingness to address it verbally, until Daddy impressed across my fanny how important it was to behave better.
Hopefully, Happy Hour will be a fun way to set aside a difficult action on my part. I need to tell her I’m sorry to drag her into our drama. Besides I really want to travel with her again. I just don’t want to get a Spanking like that again.
—–Original Message—–
From: Aok4otk <aok4otk@aol.com>
To: aok4otk <aok4otk@aol.com>
Sent: Fri, Jul 27, 2018 11:05 am
Subject: blogpost
It didn’t seem fair at the time, but now, on reflection, being Spanked for what I did on our summer vacation was fair. When I say “on reflection,” I’ve had 72 hours* to think about what I did to Daddy as I sat at work with a painfully bruised fanny painted red by the “little boy” paddle (see pic). As I edit this further**, now it’s been more than 96 hours since Saturday’s Spanking, and I still can feel four different really sore spots on my rumpus, particularly my left cheek where Daddy’s Spanking Stick came down particularly hard and frequently. What is different this time—than all the other times I’ve been punished for breaking our Rules—is I really thought much more about why Daddy Spanked this time, and what I had to do to make things better. This is the story of how a Domestic Discipline Punishment Spanking really worked to improve things between us and how it actually triggered a real action to rectify things.
Before we get started, I know a bunch of skeptics will say, “Well he’s into CP, so of course he’d say Spanking works. However, in this instance (and yes, you’d have to get all the way to the end of the story), you’ll see how there was a happy ending after all the sore bottom and tears.
Thinking about it now, I guess I really do have something useful to share and maybe even helpful for those who don’t really know what a DD relationship can be like or how it can work in real time. As Domestic Discipline Celebration Week continues today, let’s take a look at what transpired on the summer vacation that Daddy and I took together and why a severe paddling wasn’t just necessary, but how that paddling really improved things for Daddy—and me in the end.
Cornertime Confidential often gets asked for specific examples of how CP is used in a realistic way with in a real relationship. This blogpost will go into some depth about how DD can work for actual grown-ups (not actors in a video) who have chosen to use something besides arguments, apologies, and begrudgingly accepted apologies. I hope I can do this incident justice—in between the wincing and rubbing and moaning about my red bottom as I type this days after my bottom was beaten for very real reasons—because the story and its outcomes could be both really helpful for those considering a DD relationship or those who haven’t considered one, but think this life could be good for them too.
Please be patient: the story isn’t short!
*written on Monday, July 23, 2018 and **edited on Wednesday, July 25, 2018
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In the world of CP and Spanking, a lot is made of “getting a Spanking you are to remember and think about afterwards.” Spankings are used in family situations because a lot of children are just lying or “getting away with things” and no amount of discussion is going to help clear things up. A lot of boys just disrespectfully lie or cause trouble, and so they are Spanked. But in adult relationships, a lot of the same behaviours persist, but the consequences for trust can be broken. It’s unhelpful to be adult and be able to talk your way out of behaviour that disempowers your partner—and the consequences can be pretty damaging over time. Trust erodes, love gets compromised, and apologies are unhelpful sometimes.
One way to achieve a different result is through a Corporal Punishment-centered or Discipline-centered approach to adult misbehavior problem solving.
One way it to shame your boy into thinking about what he did.
Another way is to make the Spanking painful, so he remembers for multiple days about the Spanking and why it occurred.
And finally there’s a mix of the two. I think that Daddy kinda did both here.
Let’s get to my specific example now to give you a peek into what happened after a lot of painful crying and moaning in The Corner on Saturday resulted in a very sore fanny on Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday, and also it resulted in a much better situation with Daddy and me at home.
Things had been awkward since we got back from our trip to Canada where we went to visit friends. Daddy and I had gotten in a fight when we were out together with our hosts to see a fireworks competition over the St. Lawrence river the night before we left. Of course, the important part isn’t the fireworks in the sky; it was the fireworks between us, and then the fireworks last Saturday across my behind.
On Tuesday, I had to go to work for a second day with a really painfully sore, red bottom, and since most of my job has me seated for long hours during the work day, that meant long achey time remembering Daddy’s Spanking and why he did that. Often readers ask me are “Punishment Spankings” real and how are they used in real life—not role-play. I can say now with some clarity, they are particularly effective since afterwards us boys have to go to work or school afterwards and sit! I have had to feel the pain in my rumpus for hours on end at my desk surrounded by co-workers.
As I say, by Tuesday, I’d been thinking a lot about what I did that caused Daddy to Spank—rather than discuss—what had happened on our summer vacation. In this instance, on reflection, just like Spankings are supposed to, we saw immediate results. For all those out there who say Spankings don’t work, I beg to differ: in between every waking moment of work, I’ve been thinking about what happened and why it happened. And I’ve been thinking about how I need to write this down for posterior’s sake.
Posterity’s sake. Oh…you know what I mean.
For the first time since I got in trouble with Daddy for drunk-driving and not calling him to be picked up a while ago, Daddy decided he had to paddle my fanny for two different serious problems that arose on our trip to Canada:
Irresponsible behavior while travelling and
A serious breach of trust in our relationship.
Irresponsibility
Again, after getting locked out of our flat with no keys, no cellphone, and no passport, and after the trust-breaking incident happened while we were on vacation, Daddy gave me a whippin when we got back home.
A lot of you might ask yourselves, why didn’t Daddy Spank in the moment when it was happening?
Well, Daddy was angry and hurt at the time while we were on vacation, but he didn’t want to address it then, because we were with our friends and when we went home at the end of the night, we were sharing the flat with a friend who doesn’t know we are a DD couple. He didn’t want her to feel awkward. Besides, then he’d have to explain DD, and frankly that wasn’t any way to spend a holiday together, especially since we wanted to sightsee, not deal with the mundane issues of our relationship.
On the weekend after we returned home and after a week of not discussing it, Daddy told me, “I need to have a conversation about what you did in Canada. I need you to finish what you are doing on the computer, change into your yellow shorts, and go to your room.”
I finished up—changed into my boy clothes—and went to my room flopping down on the bed on my tummy.
I knew he had a lot on his mind, because we’d said nothing since Canada, so I was expecting a long lecture. It did turn out that he planned to have that lecture over his knee on The Spanking Chair, apparently. However, when he walked in pointing to The Corner where the Spanking Chair is kept, he said, “Stand up and go over there and get The Chair. Bring it here,”
I didn’t do it.
I knew that getting The Spanking Chair out of The Corner would mean a Spanking with no questions asked. So I said I didn’t want to. 

Then a funny thing happened. Something I’d never experienced before. He just left and walked out to the kitchen. He didn’t say a word.
I yelled from the bedroom, “I just don’t want to, can’t we talk in here instead?”
Daddy did return in a few moments with The Paddle in his hand.
I knew it was gonna be worse, because I hadn’t done as I was told with regards to The Chair, and I said, “No, no, don’t paddle me. I just want to talk about it. I’ll get The Chair. I’ll get The Chair. It’s OK.”
I started to go get The Chair that I was supposed to have placed in the middle of the bedroom in front of the bed. I guess I could have done that when he’d left the room, but I didn’t.

Daddy said, “It’s not necessary now. Put your hands on the bed. I don’t want you taking your hands off the bed.” I could feel my heart sinking, not knowing what to expect. He usually warmed my fanny with his hand first, usually over his knee, but this was going to be different.
I deliberated too long after he gave me those instructions, and he whacked my fanny really, really hard.
“Now.”
I grabbed the bed frame edge and hoped for the best. I’ve been Spanked enough by Daddy after 6 months of living together and 4 years of being in a DD relationship, that I knew I could trust him, in spite of the fact that none of this was familiar.
“When we are travelling, you are not to leave the place we’re staying without your keys” He slammed the paddle down really hard across my heinie. My bare bottom felt every inch of that. But then I realized, I was fully clothed.
“Without your ID,” the whack of his hand-sized paddled really, really hurt this time, and he paddled my fanny multiple time across my Spanking shorts and my underpants. With all those layers, I thought, wow, why is this hurting so badly?
“Without your phone,” I thought I was going to die. I began to realize he wasn’t going to do any warm up Spanking. This would be full-on Spanking, fast and really painful, and I was simply completely unprepared for how much that would both jolt me through and through and how long the soreness would last.  
“Do you understand me?” The paddling became really intense and freighted with meaning.
“You scared us when we came down to get you, and you were not there. And we had literally no way to find you.” He used a particularly wide-swinging paddling motion that was virtually pushing me out of position and he Spanks harder when I do not stay in position.
“But I realized you guys were busy, and you wouldn’t realize I was trapped outside the building.”
And down came that paddle again and again, “What?” said Daddy, as he yanked my Spanking shorts and underpants down below my fanny.
He must have seen an awfully red and probably freshly bruised heinie.
“Do you think we’re stupid?” And the whacks from that mean paddle really, really hurt this time in a way that getting paddled with my shorts and ‘pants up didn’t.
He had been paddling full-force when I was clothed, but when he yanked my drawers down, he paddled just as hard, if not harder, “We knew pretty damned quick, because you were not answering any texts. And when we called the phone rang inside the flat.”
Again and again, my fanny welled up with soreness, as the paddle slammed down and down again across my rumpus becoming a plump red region, rather than just my usual backside.
I found I couldn’t stand still—literally, it was impossible to do so without completely intentionally holding on for dear life. I was twisting and turning every which a way—which if you are a boy, you probably know isn’t a great idea.
“You are big enough to know that you are to stand outside and wait at the front door until Daddy comes to get you.” The paddling intensified beyond what I could imagine. “I am not to be coming downstairs and wandering the streets when we are on vacation trying to find you.” Daddy leaned in on this point, he pushed into my left side at this point and pressing me against the bed, he walloped my heinie for a good long time.
I was crying out and carrying on like nobody’s business. It felt like he was never going to stop Spanking my bottom. And then, just as fast as it began, the Spanking stopped.
“Get in The Corner. I don’t want to hear a word out of you.” I was so stunned, I couldn’t think. Daddy repeated himself—which is never a good idea—and I went to go stand in The Corner.
Honestly, I was grateful to finally be able to breathe and think for a second about just what was happening.
Now, we have Cornertime Rules about how I am to stand there during punishment, so he waited until he saw me doing Cornertime properly. I didn’t stick my nose in The Corner, as he usually instructs, but I didn’t turn around and show him my red crying face. He hates that and will whip me something awful if I do that, so I just stood still as I could, which was real hard given the circumstances.
I guess he decided not to make a big deal of me not having my snout pressed into The Corner, probably saw how red and damage my rumpus was, so he walked out as I shook and cried, rubbed and moaned.
Daddy left for about 10, maybe 15 minutes.
I was quivering cuz it’s hard to just stand without leaning on the walls for that long. It’s really, really hard, no matter what anyone tells you. But I knew I’d get in really bad trouble if I did that, because I have gotten really bad lickin for doing that in the past. Cornertime is now an exercise in showing Daddy I know how to do it right—doing it the way he expects me to. If I do it wrong, Spankings can last a very, very long time.
So I just stood there. It was a weekend like I mentioned so unlike a workday a lot of neighbors must have been home. Paddling is not a quiet affair. And Daddy has taken to a new thing when he Spanks, he leaves the blinds open to the back of the house—which is a shared space for everyone in the building. I was just grateful the neighbors weren’t out and it was not a nice day out, because not only would I be missing a great weekend day, but the neighbors would be able to both hear and possibly (if the sun goes behind the clouds) see directly into the windows where my bottom beating was taking place.
In about 15 minutes, Daddy returned with The Spanking Stick to switch my bottom. I couldn’t imagine why: hadn’t he made his point? I knew I’d never do that again.
He had already paddled me much harder than he had in a really long time, and I hadn’t been given a Maintenance Spanking anytime recently, so my fanny wasn’t ready for all this discipline. I was in such a state of shock, but ultimately, he was doing precisely what we had agreed to back in April 2014—to address behaviour that gets in the way of a healthy relationship with Corporal Punishment. Daddy agreed then to implement CP instead of resorting to fighting over things when the things that were wrong and spoke for themselves.
In this instance, locking myself out in a strange city and causing my Daddy and our friend to lose an hour searching for me was not a discussion point.
It was not time for me to explain myself.
Now, back home, I had already explained myself at the time in Canada. And he didn’t approve of that explanation: that I just figured they were too caught up in what they were doing (gaming in the living room while I went out and went to a money machine), to look up and realize I’d been gone too long. When I blamed him and our guest for basically not caring enough about what happened to me, and that I knew I’d have to call them to get their attention, well, that was reason enough to not have a sit-down discussion about the matter.
There was no reason to hear it all over again. It was just time to deal with it.
In most relationships, at least the ones I’ve been in, there is seemingly endless talking and apologizing about things like this. And in my past relationships it becomes onerous and misery inducing. And chips on shoulders develop and complaints build up. And then apologies are grudgingly accepted, but not really meant. And problems like this happen again. But DD changed that:
CAUSE AND EFFECT:
Domestic Discipline was used specifically to circumvent long drawn lengthy conversations and recriminations. And instead Daddy got us back on track after a lengthy talk with the paddle instead.
Excuses like the ones I tried on holiday did not work. Apologizing for wasting their time on vacation did not work. Paddling my bottom did.
In the moment, did I know that? No. But writing this now*, I do.
So why was he coming back with the cane in his hand? Well, that was a different matter.
What the Spanking Stick Means in Our Relationship: A Talk With Mr. Spanking Stick
Caning is often used by people all over the world who live in CP-based relationships. It’s particularly popular with men and women in DD relationships. I have no idea why. But in our relationship the cane means something very specific: you are now going to be punished severely for something very specific.
“Get over here and stick your fanny out. Hold onto the bed and I expect to see your hands stay there.”
“Oh no, please don’t use The Stick, just tell me what you want me to do.”
“What I want you to do is get your rear over here and stick it out now.”
Fidgeting and not standing still resulted in an immediate swish across my upper thigh just below my butt cheek. The sting sent me wailing and was so intense that I took my hands off the bed frame.
“Did I tell you to remove your hands from the bed? I did not. Get your hands back on the bed or there’ll be trouble.”
There was trouble. And it all got worse with The Stick.
Frankly, I don’t know how boys get switched on a regular basis in England, Ireland, Asia generally, and Australia. It hurts so bad and wherever the tip of the cane lands, it creates this slightly hard spot for days afterwards. Over the years, Daddy has only used The Stick when I’ve been particularly bad or naughty or broken really important Rules.
The cane is not a Maintenance Spanking Tool—one for misbehaving while we’re out walking and I cross against the light in front of him, or at the Zoo and I run off, or at the movies and I’m late or the museums and I wander away. I usually only get a handSpanking—sometimes bare-bottomed—and sometimes he’ll tell me to get him The Hairbrush if I have been warned about how I’m expected to behave and I do it anyways.
The Hairbrush Is Awful But It’s Not The Spanking Stick.
Our friends in Vancouver (who were probably at Camp Red Tails, not in Canada when I had caused this trouble with Daddy) gave Daddy that cane on my last trip to visit them. And Daddy uses it sparingly.
But not on this Saturday. No, he decided to address what really made him angry and disappointed with The Stick and I was so obedient at this point, I was just trying to get through what was a time-consuming experience on a Saturday morning.
Again, I could tell the visit with The Stick wasn’t going to be a conversation, unfortunately. But I knew that I didn’t know how to address it. I was hoping he’d just forgotten it. But I’d ALSO really done something in Canada that I’m now not proud of. Without going into the boring details, I basically said to Daddy that I wanted to go watch the fireworks from a high-up place—but that our friend who was travelling with us wanted to do that too but that our Canadian friends were just standing there, and we just needed them to come with us. I needed Daddy to help get everyone to come up to the high-up point so we could see things better. But they wouldn’t come, so…anyways, it’s not important now. But what DID happen was that I used our travelling companion as leverage to get Daddy to come be with me, instead of the whole group. Daddy stormed up to where I was, very displeased, and I told him what I just told you.  
Once I saw he wasn’t willing to join me and be romantic, I stormed off saying well if he was going to be mad about it then, I didn’t want to be up there with a better view. I walked back to the group. He stood there angry for a few moments, then he told everyone he was going home and would skip the fireworks. Everyone (but me) didn’t know why he was storming off. But he felt manipulated. Our travelling companion went to talk with him and explained that no, she didn’t want to do what I said she wanted to do. And that I never even discussed it with her.
Anyways, Daddy knew then that I had used her to get him to do what I wanted. He agreed to stay, but it put us in an impossible situation:
(1) He/we didn’t want to have a fight in front of friends, and  
(2) wWe were sleeping in the same flat as her, so we couldn’t really discuss it without making her a part of it, and that seemed really unfair. So we didn’t discuss it. Daddy was beyond angry about the situation being so impossible.
Eventually, we got back to the states. Instead of discussing it when we got home, Daddy got out the Spanking Stick to address this too. My fanny was bare with my briefs and shorts down and I was putting my hands back on the bedframe.
“Why did you drag her into this? Why did you think that was OK to do?” The Switch whipped across my seat this time accurately and precisely where it made it impossible to stand still. The intensity rose up in me and my back arched. I was kicking my feet on the ground, and the cane came down sharp and fast. 

“You better stop stamping your feet!” And The Stick cut into that same exact spot again and again warning me that strict obedience would be required now.
The Stick came down with much greater frequency and intensity than I ever recall getting when I’d been switched before. The stick made my fanny pinpoint sore in a way that the paddle hadn’t. I noticed pretty quickly that he knew precisely how to use The Stick and was repeatedly whipping me in a 2-3” inch area that was ending on a point about mid-way up my left cheek. My fanny must have gotten redder and redder and then kinda black and blue from the repeated whippin.
I know that because Daddy did take a Behinder Reminder picture when I was finally allowed to leave The Corner.
“You lied to me and said she wanted to come up there on that creaky stairwell just so you could watch the fireworks from up there. I didn’t want to go up there. It wasn’t safe anyway, and you were trying to guilt me into coming up there.”
“You will not guilt me into doing what you want. Do you understand me?” The cane struck an awful, fiery cut that made mark after mark after mark. My fanny was weeping for help or at the very least a break. But none was coming as The Stick made its marks time and again. It felt like an eternity and I didn’t think I could handle it much longer, but I didn’t know what to do.
Should I turn away? Run? Try to get away? Daddy was making a point and to run off in the middle of explaining that I’d broken his trust would have been a risky move that wouldn’t have been worth it. I love Daddy, even though I did that in Canada to him and our friends. Better to stand as still as I could, given that I was twisting and squirming because of the repeated switches of The Stick on my backside.
“And then you dragged her name into this? Why? So you could get your way.”
“I didn’t want to, but…”
That’s why.” And the cane cracked down making an awful sound as the end frayed and a splinter stuck.
“No, it’s because it was fireworks and I wanted to be alone with you for a few minutes.” 

“We had friends with us. You could have made different plans, but you didn’t. You waited until it was too late, and then you acted.” With the cane fraying, Daddy slowed a bit then finished whippin my heinie.
“Get in The Corner right now.”
Daddy was sweating a lot. He was hot to the touch. He hates having to Spank, because in the original analysis, he’s not wired to Spank first. But this time, Daddy was much calmer and focused.
“I’m going to take a shower. You stand there.”
Daddy walked off and did some things in the hall bathroom, then came into the bedroom and turned on the master shower. I walked over to him as he was showering and started trying to explain myself.
Daddy looked at me with a look that said, “You didn’t really just leave The Corner when I told you to stand there.” But instead he stopped me explaining and said, “Remember, we agreed to use Spanking when times call for it. He kissed me and said, “I don’t want to hear from you. I have dealt with this. It’s not going to happen again, will it?”
I said no.
I was kinda glad frankly, since I didn’t really have a good explanation anyways and talking at that point wouldn’t have helped. I was just sorry for having manipulated him openly in front of all our friends.
When Daddy got out of the shower, he called me into the kitchen, turned on the lights (which is kinda awkward in case anyone was out front looking in the windows), and told me to bend over the counter. He took out the Skin Food and rubbed it deeply into my sore and welted cheeks.
“I want you back here tomorrow when we continue this punishment. Do you understand me?”
I said I did.
CAUSE AND EFFECT:
Domestic Discipline was used specifically to address a serious breach of trust, abusing Daddy’s willingness to do just about anything with me. Daddy was empowered to use whipping and a lengthy talk with The Stick instead to settle the matter and make it clear that this was not to happen again.
Apologies for this do not work. Whipping my bottom did.
How do you know from these two stories that CP works to change bad behaviour?
How do we know it worked, you ask?  How do you the reader not just think: oh, they’re just into that, so they do CP cuz they’re into it?
Here’s how we know:
I spent all of Sunday and a lot of Monday thinking about Daddy’s Spanking.
My sore fanny reminded me that I’d been Spanked and all the many things Daddy said during the Spanking about being an irresponsible boy and a time waster of other people’s time.
The Splinter from the cane reminded me that he had to use the A-Bomb Spanking Tool to make his point about trust.
But the real clicher that proves Spankings work in and adult DD relationship?
I’m going to Happy Hour tonight.
What?!?
That’s right, I’m going to Happy Hour.
Let me explain. On Monday, I’d thought long and hard about it and hopped on Daddy’s lap while he was on the settee watching the news after work, “Daddy I need to talk to you for a moment.”

He rolled his eyes saying without saying it, “Please do not apologize for what you did.”

But I said, “Daddy just let me get it out and try not to stop me. OK?”
He leaned back with me straddling him in my white ‘pants and facing him I said, “I thought all day long about what you said on Saturday, while I rubbed my rumpus and though about how sore I was. And I realized hey you were not the only person affected by what I did. Our friend who travelled with us also was put in a terribly awkward position. I want to apologize to her or figure out some way of doing something that will at least address it, even if I can’t really apologize it away.
“What do you plan to do?”

“Daddy do you think I could invite her out to Happy Hour and at least apologize about affecting her trip too. Give her the chance to say anything on her mind?”
“That’s a good idea. You should. Now, let Daddy watch the news.”

I kissed Daddy and said OK, I’ll go make dinner.
The next night Daddy came home from work and when we sat down to dinner I told him how my day had gone and I was going on, and he interrupted and said “So have you been in touch with her yet?”
I proudly said, “Yes, Daddy, I did just like you said and we are doing Happy Hour tomorrow night!”
“Good boy. I think that’s the right thing to do.”
I was impressed how Spanking is what triggered me to do this. I had already been home for more than a week and I’d done nothing to address the problem I’d created with her. But after Daddy’s Spanking, a need was surfaced and a solution evolved. I honestly don’t think I had the guts to address it, until Daddy impressed across my fanny how important it was to behave better.
Hopefully Happy Hour will be a fun way to set aside a difficult action on my part. I need to tell her I’m sorry to drag her into our drama.




Please comment below or email me with your ideas.
 
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Domestic Discipline: Sit-Down Discussions Revisited

Reviewing adult boy’s Long Term Behaviour
Successful Strategies in Domestic Discipline 

As Domestic Discipline Celebration Week comes to a conclusion this year, today we take a look at “Review and Punishment” sessions that often take place in the DD home. 



In our home, Daddy uses these to review behaviour that has built up over a period of time. So, for example a Review and Punishment session could occur when a bunch of behaviour mounts: (1) we were at the theme park and I ran off; (2) we were out walking and I ran across the street at the crosswalk against the light; f(3) I didn’t come home from work when I told him I would; (4) I demanded he sit with me on a narrow stairway when the fireworks were going off, and I created a scene. 



Daddy will usually let a bunch of misbehaviours build up before addressing them, if they’ve been coming in fast succession. He can usually tell when things are getting out of hand and needs to be brought back down to earth, across his knee now. (Before we were a DD couple, he’d just get angry and give me the silent treatment or just be miserable).



As you can see, Review and Punishment sessions do not have to be precipitated by specific action I’ve taken in the moment. I get Spankings for that, obviously.



The Review and Punishment approach in Domestic Discipline is a bit different. This is helpful in developing a consistent sense that you are not just in a relationship with another. Review and Punishment helps define that:

  • You are in charge. Or 
  • You are a boy who has a Daddy who is in charge. 

Defining the difference in your positions in a DD relationship is a regular need and helps keep the relationship vibrant, fresh, and effective.  Why? Because in the end, we’re both males and to make the distinction is critical because we’re both apt to take charge of things by nature. Today let’s take a look at how James, the moderator of SouthSpanking, sees it.

Why Review and Punishment Sessions? 

by James (with some editing by CC)

All boys think Review and Punishment sessions are unfair, especially if the boy has been Spanked for the same thing earlier! But review sessions are purposefully set up and scheduled to go over the total period of time, since the last review. Therefore, anything that has happened in this boy’s life since the last review is on the table for discussion.

That’s just the way it is goes.   

These review sessions are painful, but also they are good for boys. And although they may end in a Spanking, boys will come to appreciate them overtime, for sure. These sessions force adult boys to think deeply about some issues—such as boundaries he may have crossed or Rules he has broken with his Daddy.

Review sessions should be held when the adult son is relaxed and open to conversation. The son will always know these reviews can or may lead to a Spanking—which means that he is more apt to speak respectfully and behave in a way that helps lead to resolutions and results. Possibly the paddle or The Hairbrush will be sitting out where the son can see it, just to remind him that these discussions are always serious.

 

If Dad decides a Spanking is needed, then punishment will usually be across his boy’s bare bottom while he is high-up over Dad’s knees. The adult boy will then feel Dad’s hand on his bare bottom while Dad and son talk. Generally, review Spankings begin slowly, with some talking in-between slaps and build up until the young man is showing real signs of feeling things.

Typically they end sometime after tears are apparent once he has learned how to let his emotions out freely.

Read James’ original post here.

Please comment below or email me with your ideas.
 
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Kitchen Spankings?

Why Spank in the Kitchen or Living Room or a Public Space?

Today’s Blogpost Considers Some Reasons in Favour.

Kitchen Spankings, and other more public use of humiliation

another in our learning-by-doing series
When a boy acts up, sometimes sending him to his room is the best solution…



…and other times, well, it’s just  a time-waster.



When you’ve been dealing with bad behaviour, and you have no ready solution with a Time Out, sometimes instead of bartering and conceding and cajoling and begging and yelling your best course of action is to handle a behaviour challenge created by your boy immediately.

Beware the Kitchen Spoon
It’s Worse Than You Think!
This is what a more public Spanking is for: to remind the boy who is in charge around the house and what will —and what will not be put up with. 



One of the things Daddys can be very guilty of is not handling things quickly. Things escalate and feelings get hurt or worse— grudges form. Daddys who begin to have grudges against their boys for their rude or selfish behaviour can easily and simply take their boy down a peg or two by applying a fanny warming in an embarrassing spot..Take the kitchen for example. Or the living room, or the TV room, etc.

My Daddy has paddled in the living room, bent me over the counter in the kitchen,and worse, made me stand in a Time Out in the living room where the windows to the street are. Sometimes with my pants down! 
Anyone could see in, if the light hits the windows the right way. It’s very humiliating.
Oh, and another handy thing about behaviour that Daddy deals with on a moment’s notice—well, in the kitchen at least—my Daddy will nearly alwaays reach for the hand-sized cheese cutting board or the wooden spoon, so there’s another reason right there to avoid messing with Daddy and picking fights.
If it’s a serious topic,we need to be discussing, but we’re now talking about it,  then we have to have a serious conversation, and I as the boy in our relationship am expected to bring it up. Sometimes a boy has a confidence gap in doing that, so I have to really think about the disagreement or the problem first, instead of just blurting out my feelings. If I just saying, Daddy you’re being an asshole. I will get a smack. So instead of just bluring out something you can never take back, I think first. CP makes you do that.It’s been really effective, actually. Let me explain…

Punishment in the Living Room

I have a privilege that comes with being male, a privilege that in “real life” results in me speaking my mind. In a home with a full-Itime Daddy now however, I have to consider what I’m saying before I bring up issues, even serious ones. Daddy is a really really good listener about matters that are legitimate and not me being a big baby. But there have been times that a conversation has ended over Daddy’s knee, if I’ve basically confessed that I intentionally ignored his feelings or intentionally damaged our relationship.

A ton of boys reading this will say, “Oh hell no. That’s something I’d never do. That’s ridiculous, I couldn’t keep a straight face!” But you know as well as I do that a boy:
  • You provoke,
  • You may be disrepectful to your partner,
  • You expect to get your way, and
  • You challenge.

It’s OK, it’s normal, is what I’m getting at. Don’t change a thing. You can go with that in a DD relationshi, too! There are just consequences to it in a DD relationship, whereas in a regular relationship there are no real consequences outside of battles of wills and if it’s persistent, nasty break-ups.

Cornertime on the Stair
In a relationship where conflict is handled with a CP-centered approach, you are much more careful to take Daddy’s feelings and responses into consideration, and think through how you approach a given issue before you just blurt.DD helps us avoid the “things you can never take back!”

My Daddy has cut off conversation before just so he doesn’t have to punish. He’ll tell me, “We’re done talking about this. Go to your room to cool off.” “Or take a walk around the block.” Or “I’m going to go for a drive. I’ll be back and we’ll discuss this later.”

Sure, I’ll fume in my room. But Daddy will eventually come in and instead of using The Stick, he’ll work through a hot-button issue. I think most of us would prefer a relationship where a trusted Daddy does this, rather than just sitting around for weeks with simmering hard feelings.

I’m grateful whenever my Daddy does, I know that. Often times, I have to be the one to initiate a hard conversation, but I’ve noticed that if I approach Daddy correctly, I don’t get my bottom whipped. Instead we end up in each other’s arms.That doesn’t mean Daddy always gets his way! Oh no it doesn’t, so don’t misread that. But it does mean that there are guideposts the average M/m relationship otherwise lacks. Guideposts that can really blunt a serious case of the hostilities that stem from being a know-it-all boy or know-it-all Daddy.

For us, the spontaneous use of Corporal Punishment (CP) rather than the endless bickering—like I had in my previous relationships—is why Spankings and nonSpanking Punishments work. Rather than all the fights, yelling, and often grudges that would last weeks, Daddy and I do not experience the resentment and generally have a much healthier relationship than anything I’ve experienced in the past. 
When resentments arise, we talk about them, rather than let bad behaviour fester We find those bickering matches keep us apart. The use of Corporal Punishment bonds us much more effectively. 

 

Please comment below or email me with your ideas.
 
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Domestic Discipline Week Continues With a Look at Spankings in Public

Spanking Your boy in Public

Having been Spanked in public on multiple occasions as an adult boy, I found this image bringing back intense memories. The sound of a boy with an adult bottom being Spanked is noticeable from a distance. Especially if the Spanking results in a response from your boy, in the form of whimpering, crying, or yelping.

That means, if you are a Daddy and you are intending to Spank publicly (in a men’s room, in the car while on a drive, in a restaurant bathroom, in the park, in a mall, etc.) then be aware how attention grabbing it is not just for your boy, but for those around you.

In the image above, I like how the Daddy takes the time to tell the cameraman to stand back while he deals with the boy at hand. It gives you a great idea what it’s like to take your boy’s ‘pants down for a bare-bottomed Spanking in the car park. It’s complicated, because if you get your boy in his boyzone headspace, it maybe hard to quickly get his ‘pants and jeans up before outsiders come by to find out what’s going on. Nevertheless, it’s usually better to address misbehaviour immediately and not wait until you get home to deal with boys. While Cornertime Confidential never discourages Daddys to decide what’s best, and sometimes waiting until you get back home is effective because the time the boy has to think about the Spanking he’s going to get can make him really reconsider his behaviour, but Spanking boys immediately when bad behaviour, language, or mouthing off begins can effectively arrest problems before they continue or persist during a long day or trip out of the house.

image

Here’s a few snippets from my life:

My former Daddy Don used to have a hand-sized paddle in the glove of his car, so if a Spanking were called for, he could have that in his pocket while we were out. I remember being paddled by Daddy Don in a parking lot, in the car for acting up and whining about the lunch I was made to eat in Alexandria, Va. That paddle in the glove box was always a reminder to behave, and that Daddy would take it out when needed. I think that’s a part of why I got a public paddling. Daddy felt making the point once would eliminate the need to do that again, whenever I visited/stayed with him.

On a different trip through the Redwoods with Daddy Jay took me to Mendocino, and when I pulled the seat back down and turned over to climb in the back, That required taking off my seatbelt while he was driving. Daddy pulled over and paddled me red on the side of the road—or maybe he just made me lie down across the back of the passenger seat which I’d made lay flat, and paddled me right there in the front seat. Can’t quite recall, just remember my burning bottom! The rest of that car ride did not result in further playing around while we drove. I never took my seatbelt off again when I was in the car with Daddy Jay.

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Switched by Daddy Jay in the Redwood Forest

On our way to Camp near Ukiah, Daddy Ron from Chicago Spanked me with the door open on the side of the highway! He just pulled over, opened my side of the car, facing away from the highway, and he sat down in my passenger seat. Then he pulled me over his knee and Spanked me really soundly for being antsy, not peeing before we left, and complaining about him not pulling over to let me pee.

Daddy Ron believes that the potential humiliation of being caught with your ‘pants down paddled red is equally as effective as a discussion about obedience which he’s also prone to give before, during, and after Spankings. I really like Daddy Ron, because he doesn’t just care enough to be your Daddy, but he’s also clearer than most Daddys about what being his good boy means.

image

Switched in the Woods by TXTop



Here’s a few blogposts about public discipline from Cornertime Confidential:

Spanked in the Men’s Restroom While Out Shopping

Spanked Poolside

Public Disobedience, Public Discipline

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Hairbrush Spanked in South San Fran by Daddy Ron


Please comment below or email me with your ideas.
 
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Spankings as a Basis for a Long Term Relationship

Domestic Discipline Celebration Week begins today! For the next 4 days we’ll take a look into the variety of ways men are connecting in Domestic Discipline relationships. The spectrum is wide and the array of options is wide. Take a moment each day to see what we have in store for you this week! Our first post is from SocialSwitch, a new blogger, we found on HotBottoms.net, the new site for SouthSpanking.com.

 

The keys to a successful relationship: Love, communication and,
when necessary, a good sound Spanking.

SOME THOUGHTS ON SPANKING AS A BASIS FOR LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP

by  – Jan 25, 2018
These aren’t intended as prescriptions or rigid rules, just the way my husband (partner in our 21st year together) and I work out a long term relationship where our primary erotic bond is spanking. Thought it might be interesting, and just possibly of some use, to some guys trying to make a partnership work or just wondering what might work in the future.
Both of us have been “into it” since early youth. We’re now 64 and 53 respectively, in pretty good shape, but it just shows that spanking is not limited to young men or only for older + younger. It can work as a lifelong practice. It’s just there. Primary turn-on. What makes our dicks hard. We don’t have a “domestic discipline” relationship, although there are sometimes elements of that. When we first started out, more than 20 years ago, I was actually more of the top (I’m 11 years older), but fairly early on it emerged in the dynamic between us that I am mostly bottom, and he’s mostly top. Ranging from 75/25 to 90/10. But we are switches, which is a minority within a minority within a minority. But it suits us, so that’s it. I like and need to get spanked regularly, and so does he, but less often, and he likes to spank even more than I do. When we play with others, which we’ve started doing again after a long time of spanking as well as sexual monogamy, we’re usually both spankers, and we both know how to give a good, long hard bare bottom spanking that is sensitive to the needs of the spankee. Neither of us has ever been much for “sensual” or “erotic” spanking, which we sometimes deride as “pitty pat.” Spanking for us is real. It’s pretty hard to very hard, and it hurts. Paddling and strapping hurts a lot. We accommodate (of course) the limits of others, but the guys we really like to play with like it somewhere between hard and very hard. No blood or injury, but seriously sore butt. Crying and squirming. Occasionally even mild restraint if needed and wanted.
Sometimes we’ve gone weeks without spanking, but when things are in synch, it’s maybe once a week to every two weeks. Currently experimenting with not letting a Sunday night go by without at least a quick otk spanking on bare before bed if there hasn’t been a spanking already that week. (Which means like 200 hard slaps; an actual discipline spanking in the real world is usually much less than that, but you make adjustments if you’re into this… a long session might take an hour and a half and involve three or four rounds of paddling, each with 50 or more swats with a paddle on bare; or similar duration of strapping).
So what are the “rules”?
  1. Consensual always. This goes without saying, or should. Sometimes a spanking involves crying, squirming, real pain. And the spankee really wants it to be over, but he doesn’t try to stop it and wants the experience of being spanked for real, which means it really, really hurts and sometimes you’re not sure you can take it. You have to work these things out, and make sure you know what’s OK and what isn’t. Which leads to…
  2. Communicate. Talk about it, before and after. Understand what your partner likes and needs, and try to give it to him. This works both ways. It’s not just what the spankee needs, but what the spanker needs too.
  3. Get in the mood. Everyone is different. For me, as an older man, what works is stimulation through spanking related porn, especially videos. But edge, don’t come. Get it up, fantasize about spanking, get the juices flowing, but don’t let yourself come, even for a few days, until after the spanking. OK, this may not be everyone’s experience, but it’s definitely mine. I can be ready for a spanking pretty reliably if I do a little stimulus the day before, but avoid orgasm till afterwards. To guys who say spanking is only discipline for them, not erotic, OK, ignore this. Live your life the way you see fit. But for us, this is how it is.
  4. Do what you talk about. Role play, what implements, how long, how hard, positions, whether punishment for something or just because you need it, whatever. Have a plan, because you don’t really want to talk about this stuff too much during the spanking. Spanking works best when it’s “in the groove.” These things are important, but everybody’s different. You have to find what works for you two, which inevitably involves some compromise, no matter how similar your tastes are. If your tastes are too different, you may just be incompatible, but there’s lots of room to adjust and do some give and take.
  5. Warm up. Find a good intensity, serious, fairly hard, probably only with hand, that can get you going but not be so hard you lose the excitement. 200 slaps is about right, gradually intensifying. This is real spanking, just not extremely hard yet. We almost always do this OTK, on bare from the very start, but you have to find what works for you.
  6. Rhythm is important. Not everyone agrees, but for me this is vital. Spanking should have a steady, even relentless rhythm to it. Not too slow, and not insanely fast either. You take breaks, but when you’re spanking,spank. Don’t smack, smackety, rub, rub, smack. Spank like you mean it.
  7. Connect. Even if it’s not that hard, make a strong and complete connection with the butt and hand or implement. Spanking should exude masculine energy, which means steady and connected strokes, regardless of how hard it is.
  8. After warmup, take a break. It can be just 5-10 min. Corner time is good if you like that (we kinda don’t), but a break is important. Gets the endorphins flowing. After this break, the spanking can become more intense, and last much, much longer. Several rounds, with breaks, is the usual way of it, especially if you want it to be long and memorable.
  9. Don’t change implements too often. If you use more than one paddle or strap, there should be a reason, like you have a graduated increase in size and weight, or something. Each round is best done with a single implement. If you like to do brush, paddle, strap, cane (we don’t like canes), do them in sequence by rounds, not switching back and forth arbitrarily. This is more important to the overall experience than you might think. An exception is you can put a paddle or whatever down and finish off a round with really hard hand spanking. Somehow that’s always welcome.
  10. Know your partner. Ideally, safe words should not be necessary. You should try to develop the ability to read even guys you’re playing with you don’t know well to sense when it’s too hard or not hard enough, or when they need a break. It’s not perfect, and sometimes you need to just “use your words,” especially as a bottom. Just say it if it needs saying. It won’t “break the scene.” If it does, the scene is too fragile anyway.
  11. Push yourself a little. Even after years with a partner, spanking can sometimes slip into routine, and it’s good to push it to a higher level now and then. Have a really long, hard session that leaves you really sore.
 
 
 
Please comment below or email me with your ideas.
 
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Christmas Shopping List for Daddys and their adult boys

Christmas is Coming…

Paddle TreeChristmas time is tricky. Many adult boys want a new video game or toy. But Daddys—like adult boy’s actual parents—owe their little charges gifts that they can use and gifts that help a boy know his place in the Daddy/boy relationship.

With Christmas just around the corner (not The Corner, but the corner)—sometimes a corner is just a corner!!!—you may be thinking, “I have no idea what to buy that boy!” or “What on earth can I get Daddy that he’ll truly appreciate.” Today’s blogpost hopes to solve your last minute shopping needs.

Buying for adult boys

Let’s begin with the Daddys out there. There are so many great gifts we’ve been able to recommend here at Cornertime Confidential, so below, we’ll review some of the better options you can get your boys this Christmas.

Stockings

I don’t care what anyone tells me, having a stocking as an adult boy makes you REALLY feel like a real boy again. You can purchase one of these through Pottery Barn for fancy boys, or Walmart for your basic boy. My Daddy bought me one that’s fancy, but I don’t think I’m very fancy. But I like it anyway. Stockings are ideal for candy, tickets to theme parks, gaming conventions, and cos-play cons. They are also terrific for super kewl socks from and gift cards to Hot Topic or Spencers or Journeys. I love these stores because of the plethora of adult boy gear and toys they have for us!

Mugs and Hats



We really like the things you can have for ’round the house like hot chocolate mugs. These are easy to get and make really specific

Clothing

As you may know that as an underpants aficionado, I always recommend wrapping ‘pants for the boys in your lives in super kewl wrapping paper and making them a gift, not just a stocking stuffer. Here’s a few ideal briefs for your boys, depending on your boy’s size:

Best shirts for your adult boy come to you courtesy of . And if you use the PROMO CODE: Winter18, you’ll get an additional 15% off! @babiedboy has developed a simple design to make a great t-shirt for everyday wear. You and your boy can now go out together, and no one will bat an eye. Daddy and I go out with me in my T, and we’ve never gotten weird looks. It’s great and super good quality too. And now @babiedboy has hoodies, sweatshirts, and other options now! So great. I love my ringer T, it’s by far the most comfy T I have. Buy one for your boys today.

For those of you Daddys thinking I like my boy to be a see as a Big, not a little, you might consider getting your boys a T-shirt from the original Bob’s Big Boy. These are fun and clever and few will look at your boy and think, “Does he mean….Big boy?????”

Bath Time Toys

I’m a fan of baths, so if your boy is too, consider getting him a bubble maker for the bathtub! They’re fun, perfect for an evening of age regression. You can get your boy’s bubble maker here.

And who doesn’t like a backscrubbing brush when you’re in the bath? OK, well MOST boys don’t like the look of them, but well behaved boys tend to only have Daddys who use them on their backs for scrubbing not fanny warming. The best places for bathbrushes are here:

The way to make this a gift—not a threat!—is to make a single gift with BOTH a bath brush and a suds making machine!

Trips and Outings

When you take your boy out whether it’s for a trip to the park or for a long drive, there’s always cool things you can give that your boy will enjoy. I think bubble blowers are super kewl and easy to get. Everyone loves bubbles in a park or at a picnic. If your town has a “screen on the green” movie screenings series, these are a lot of fun pre-show.

You can get bubble machines here.
Tiger Brand Briefs are a great gift, because they are so expensive and they fit big boys (not just skinny ones like me!) We highly recommend you consider the reviews of their products. Some are cut better than others, and body type will determine which briefs are the best fitting. I am a 34″ waist and the briefs I have that fit the best are:

  • 32-34 size (mens) for the double-seat/double-dash briefs. These are ideal for sending your boy off to work in. They can be worn all day long and provide plenty of room!
  • 18-20 size (boys) for the double-line red/black Sears originals/knock-offs. They’re called: “Mens Red and Blue Line Double Seat Briefs.” They’re tighter in the leg loops, so less appropriate for everyday wear. Great as Spanking pants, however. These are very authentic and just like the ones Mr. W across the street wore when I was a kid watching him fix his car.

Keep in mind these are full-cut, high waisted briefs like the 1950s, 60s, 70s, and 80s. They are NOT the more modern cut that is briefer and more in keeping with the briefs of the 90s and early 00s. As in the picture you see to the right here, they do also make “mid-rise” versions, but those haven’t fit me so well, so I can’t recommend those.

More affordable and easy to buy boy briefs exist all over the internet, obviously, but the sizing is tricky for adult boys. I fit a bunch of different boy ‘pants, but that’s cuz I’m fairly skinny and my legs are thin. For bigger boys, it’s not so simple. Highly recommended briefs come from Arizona briefs, Fruit of the Loom, and especially The Children’s Place XL and XXL pants. These fit well for adult boys up to about 34″ to 36″ waists.

You can get loads of different types with sports themes, skateboarding images, even dinosaurs super cheaply at this link here.

Other kewl gifts for boys include toys and playthings that may more closely align with any fetishes you engage in. There are wonderful shops all over the country and world with specialties worth exploring. But you can get ideal Daddy/boy tools right here in your own neighborhood pharmacy. Ideal surprise gifts can include:

There’s no end of the simple everyday you can find. For Daddys who hate to spend a lot on toys you only use once, so simple. It’s fun, it’s easy, and you can purchase many more items than at fancy fetishy stores.

 

Buying for Daddy

Let’s talk a bit about what boys can get their Daddys.

Not every boy wants to buy exactly what Daddy needs, because in my experience the perfect gift can leave you with a very sore bottom. But for those brave enough to get him exactly what he needs, you can find perfectly satisfactory, sturdy wooden spoons, kitchen utensils, bath brushes, and Hairbrushes at T.J. Maxx, Ross for Less, and a myriad of similar knock-off stores.

Sticks and Stones

The Bath Brushes at Ross and TJ Maxx are super affordable, so Daddys and boys of any pay grade can participate! Daddy paddled with the one he got earlier this year, and boy, they work.

Now thanks to the environmentalists at EarthHero, we now have 5-packs of bamboo spoons which are good for extra-long term wear and tear. If one breaks, you always have 4 more to go! This pack is something I don’t think I have the guts to purchase for Daddy this Christmas!

Behaviour Charts

There’s also all those promise you’ve made all year long or will make next year. Instead of idle promises, why not buy him a Behaviour Chart to post on the fridge. Daddy can monitor your behaviour and give you treats for when you’re good! And well, I know I don’t have to explain to you the results if you don’t. Here’s a few places to get these for your Daddy:



Clothing

Then there’s clothing. Daddy T shirts are fun. Here’s a few ideas.

Or Trucker Hats that they also make. They’re kinda exceptional, when they fit well. If you’re Daddy has the right sized head for it, I highly recommend them!

But Urban Outfitters has regular baseball caps that would be pretty specific, but if you’re Daddy is brave enough to wear them out in public, they’re kinda great.

Please comment below or email me with your ideas.
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