Finding the Right Spanking Mix in Your Lives

Nearly Exactly What it Looks Like At Daddy/my House When He Spanks

I wish I still had the Cornertime Confidential FB page, that had thousands of followers who were just FULL of info about their experiences describing how they find the right Spanking mix in their lives.


But since that option is no longer available, this post will hopefully provide a more complete explanation helping to better delineate what it takes for boys and the Men Who Spank them to find the right mix of Corporal Punishment, love, discipline, and emotional success in their lives.

Different boys have different responses, and I think a lot of that has to do with the Daddys Who Spank us. If a Daddy is in a kinky or BDSM mindset, we’ll tend to be impacted by Daddy’s approach. It will directly impact whether we have an emotional response, a sexual response, or no response at all. 

Ultimately, it’s about setting out the parameters ahead of time, finding the right Daddy for the alignment of emotions, bottom warming, and adult relationship you are seeking. Some boys are seeking a good, hard Spanking and nothing else. Some are seeking the emotional relationship of being a boy and having a Man Who Spanks them, and others seek something in between. 

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A Good Hard Spanking

A lot of boys who find working through the kind of emotions you read about above from Spankings too much damn work, and instead rely on Daddys who enjoy delivering just an old fashioned good, hard Spanking. These Spankings can be both cathartic and physically demanding, and so feel as “complete” as a sexual act. They tend to begin sending some boys down the SM path and not in the adult boy/Daddy direction. And that’s great for what it is. I would argue this is precisely what many adult boys who seek a more emotional experience think they want, until they’re in it. 

A Good Hard Spanking is a Terrible Thing to Waste

The fact remains, you need to take baby steps before you can run, and since you’re a newbie, you might not want to seek out a Man Who Spanks like this first. Instead, read between the lines of the Spankers whose profiles you read. Look for men who describe themselves as Spankers who are interested in “getting you off first.” 


The kind of Daddy Whappz and The SpankThis sites are full of men who prefer to administer Good Hard Spankings, so these are fairly easy to find. But be warned, many Men Who Spank like this, are not seeking a long term Daddy/boy relationship with you. They enjoy the hunt as much as the catch. And frankly, this goes for a ton of the boys seeking these Good, Hard Spankings out: they don’t often want an emotional response relationship, they just want a bruised behind. These boys can often awkwardly just bolt your house after a Spanking leaving you feel sorta cheated.


An Emotional Connection

The emotional connection—be it being soundly Spanked to tears, just being Spanked and then held in Daddys arms, or just having a meaningful power exchange with an equal —is a much more rewarding road to travel as far as I’m concerned. At the very same time, It’s also much more frustrating to find. I get so many messages, emails, IMs from boys and Daddys who struggle to live this life to the emotional fullest.


For my money, a practical place to find a suitable partner here is on SpankThis, but also FetLife where there are Daddys who seek to have more or less “relationships” with their “play partners.”

The Emotional Connection Between Daddy and
boy is Indispensable for me


A Combination: Red Bottoms and Raw Emotions

Ultimately, for me and a lot of other boys, they look for a combination of these two things. My former Daddy and now friend Ron From Chicago was particularly good at being this Daddy to the boys whose bottoms he beats. His favorite phrase was “I’m never going to give you more than you can handle, but you will also receive more than you need.” His hard, hard Spankings, particularly two I received from him—one in a hotel room when we were travelling!—were two of the worst Spankin’s I’ve ever gotten.

But I really loved him and his attention to detail when it came to making sure me as his boy was having a complete experience. He beat my bottom at the hotel so badly, then made me stand in The Corner while the window blinds were open(!) and anyone could have seen if they were walking on the street opposite. Thankfully there wasn’t much pedestrian traffic.

The combination of painful, bruising bottoms, stern scolding, and humliation was precisely what was needed. But ultimately Daddy Ron is more or less straight and he isn’t able to be a partner with another man, so that was unfortunate for him. In time, I reconnected with my Daddy and our emotional, discipline-centered relationship took off for us. 

 “I’m never going to give you more than you can handle, but
you will also receive more than you need.”


I hope you find what you need in a relationship so you can fully experience the wide array of emotions that comes from Domestic Discipline. The fulfilling experience will make you a better man, not just a better behaved boy.


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